Carol Unger, 1931 - 2003

Memorial Service

Memorial Service

We decided to have a ceramony in the quaker tradition, as I understand it. I called it a "community" service. We held it at her house, where she lived these past 9 years. It has a spectacular view of Admarity Inlet and Fort Worden. The weather was a warm summer day with a pleasant breese blowing. The air was clear and the views spectacular.

People started arriving at noon

We sat in a on the lawn (the deck was too hot in the sun) where we could see the view Carol enjoyed these past 9 years. It was a beautiful summer day - great views, warm sun, cool, fresh breese.

When my father died we had a memorial service. I wanted to get up during the service and say something meaningful about his life and my relationship to him. I felt many things, but was not able to find the words or the courage to get up in front of these people and say them. This felt like failing him in a small way. I did not want to fail my mom. I wanted to hold a ceramony that would be meaningful to me, Kate, and her friends and which would honor who Carol was.


I started with my remarks. Kate read letter's that mom had written to her and memories from her brother Ned, Ned's son Mark, and his wife Jamie. I read a letter from our cousin Debbie.

Elaine told some stories from their shared youth and spoke about how Carol always seemed fearless and Elaine looked on her as a great mentor.

We had people arrive well before the ceramony started so we could share food. Afterwards we had dinner at Lonny's, a place I often went with Mom for special occasions.


The next morning Elaine, Jerry, Barbara, Marie, Kate, Pepe, and myself chartered a sailboat and spread her ashes in the water in front of her port townsend house.

Talking about memories of Carol

Scattering Carol's ashes.

The shoreline where Carol lived.

Maire, Tom, Barbara, Jerry, Elaine, Pepe, Kate


Elaine and Pepe



More thoghts about my mother.

[Back] [Home] [Trip Journals] [Climbing] [Kayaking] [Flight] [Photos] [Food]

Page last modified:  Feb 18 18:01 2010  by  Tom Unger